It never fails. The emails and forums I have joined have mothers all over the world struggling to potty train their toddler son. I had a great deal of difficulty potty training my oldest son Caleb. I was to the point of depression. Caleb was nearing his fourth birthday and it was getting near time to register for Head Start Pre-K. The only thing was he had to be potty trained! A few months before registration I finally succeeded thanks to a dear friend of mine and her website.

I can personally tell you I do understand the frustrations and difficulties of potty training boys. Caleb was doing well pee peeing in the potty at 2 1/2. But then some major changes took place in our lives. His father and I separated, his sister went to live with their father, I lost my job, we moved, and then months later I had a baby.

So potty training was difficult and at times impossible to attempt. It was so embarrassing though to be in a store and smell your son because he had an accident. Caleb would play outside with the neighborhood kids but then they would come knocking on my door because Caleb had an accident.
I was frustrated which didn’t help anything. I was feeling like an incompetent mom. In fact, when I was in the middle of a custody battle for my youngest son, his father taunted me over the issue of my Caleb not being potty trained. Some days he acted as if he didn’t care or it didn’t bother him to have a soiled pull up.

My dear friend Janice who has worked with toddlers for most of her adult life as well as her own two grown boys. She has successfully potty trained hundreds of children including autistic and developmentally delayed children.

When I was struggling, Janice came to me and reassured me that Caleb would be potty trained. I felt I was so far gone in believing he would though. However, when I felt ready and Caleb was too, I went for it. And in one weekend, Caleb successfully was potty trained!

What I did discover is that it takes patience, sometimes a great deal of it to get through the potty training process. With my son Caleb, I didn’t have any patience. I got angry and frustrated. Shortly after he was potty trained and had entered school, tests at school revealed Caleb had several developmental delays. Most likely that played a big part of his delay in potty training. Parents of autistic, developmentally delayed or disabled children especially have to stick with it. Tantrums, regression and frustration are going to happen. Parents just have to learn to let it go and stay positive.

Easier said than done, right? There are going to be good days and bad days. One thing to remember is that if you are angry, frustrated, even disappointed your child is going to pick up on that. If you are one who prays or meditates make it a habit to do so in the mornings, the middle of the day and at night. Do something(s) that help you relax and stay calm.

Having support is great too. However, there are those people like me who were potty training without support, until the end. It is best to make sure that you and your child are ready for this milestone before attempting it.

Pushing it will cause rebellion, regression and will only delay things even longer. Wait till your child shows good interest in using the potty. Also, during the process your focus will be on the child. If you have other children who have been potty trained have them help out. My son Caleb is now being big brother to Hunter who will be turning three very soon. Hunter is in the midst of showing interest in the potty.

Once potty training has been successful there are no more diapers to spend money on or stink up the garbage and the house! Accidents may happen but things will get better. Potty training is a milestone that will let your child know that they can do things on their own. It also means that you will have more freedom to do things with your child.
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Most of the time, children show signs of potty training readiness as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years of age. This can be a stressful time for you and your toddler. If you start too soon, you’ll frustrate yourself and your toddler. Wait too late and you may face resistance from your toddler. Here are three signs to watch for to help you determine if it is time to potty train your toddler. Your toddler staying dry for longer periods of time, your toddler shows an awareness of using the diaper (such as going to a corner for privacy), and your toddler is asking to have his or her diaper changed.

If your toddler is exhibiting these signs, I will say it’s time to start. Especially if they are staying dry overnight, or if you’ve noticed the diaper is not as wet as it used to be in the morning. In the mornings when your toddler wakes up, see if you can get him or her to sit on the potty, even if they don’t have to go at first. Don’t make it a requirement; if they fight it, it’s okay to let it go. But ask everyday and they will eventually have a seat. Once they do this, let them sit for a couple of minutes to see if anything happens. Once your toddler actually uses the potty, you will see an increase in this type of behavior.

Another thing to try is to have your toddler sit on the potty during diaper changes and before or after a bath. Also, try again right before bedtime. Having them sit on the potty during diaper changes enforces the knowledge that this is where they should go, rather than the diaper. Offer gentle encouragement and remember to not scold if nothing happens. They will use it when they are ready.

There are a couple of things to avoid when potty training. Do not try to start during a stressful time or period of change in the family. For example, if there is a new baby or the family has just moved to a new home. Avoid pushing your child too fast and punishing mistakes. Let the pace of your toddler guide you.
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