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Jan 24

Stay-at-Home Parenting – The Glamorous Side

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I am a SAHM. That is the acronym for my job. I have been doing this for three years. I have expressed desire to start working again, and I am sure that will happen…eventually. However, I now completely accept my current gig without reservation. I no longer feel the need to talk to others about future career plans. I no longer fear stigmatization or stereotyping. It has been a long time coming and I am pretty excited about it. After all, whenever I do start working for money again, I want to be able to look back on this moment and know that I enjoyed it 100%.

What is life like for a stay-at-home parent? It differs in each individual case. It varies based on the number of children and their respective ages. It varies widely based on what the spouse is like, if indeed there is a spouse at all. Admittedly, it varies dramatically based on income level. Uniformity is no fun. As the French say, “vive la difference”! The key is to like what you are doing and take ownership of it.

My SAHM job goes a little something like this: I have two boys 19 months apart in age. The oldest is just shy of three years and the youngest is nearly sixteen months old. Both boys are active and healthy. They are now fully capable of moving most of our furniture. They are both able to open the fridge and pull out its contents. My husband and I have decided not to gate them in. I do a lot of running around. I chase them to feed them. I chase them to stop the floor lamp from breaking. Occasionally I clean up broken glass at warp speed. I change a lot of diapers. These are the unglamorous aspects of the job.

Now for the glamorous parts: my boys nap each afternoon for 2-3 hours. I have roughly 15 hours per week of childcare. I personally manage my own household. My husband gets home at 6:30 p.m. each night and we all have dinner together. My husband is a very involved father who is constantly supportive of me and the boys. I give a lot of love to my family and receive so much love in return. These gifts are incredibly luxurious and I do not take them for granted.

The naptime is hugely glamorous, allowing me a chance to read, write, meditate and catch up on whatever needs to be done. I never had a 2-3 hour break during my former jobs. Then again, I wasn’t on duty from 6:30 a.m. until 8:30 p.m. I still count it as a luxury.

My childcare provider is an enormous help and is now like a member of our family. She has known my youngest from birth and she calls us when she is not with us to check on our boys. I can trust her completely and she is a good friend. My children get to benefit from a third caregiver and all of the variety that she can bring to their upbringing. I don’t know if I think “it takes a village”, as Hillary Clinton says, but I am of the philosophy of “the more the merrier!” Sometimes I am able to spend time with one or another of my children while she takes the other one to do something fun. Other times I clean the entire house, or go to a doctor’s appointment without two toddlers. It is a luxury that makes me a calmer, more centered mother. Additionally, my husband and I get a date night twice per month. I feel like someone in the MasterCard commercials: “Childcare? Priceless.”

How is it glamorous to personally manage one’s household? Well, let’s see: I get to choose what we eat, how it is cooked, what we wear, our standard of cleanliness and the routine of our days. I feel like that is a treat, but that’s my perspective. I would rather pay for childcare than for a housekeeper, because I am picky about housework. I like to be able to walk barefoot on my floors and not feel any sand from the sandbox. I don’t like dust on the ceiling fan blades. That is luxurious. I can’t get that from a bi-weekly housekeeper, and probably not even from a weekly one. I also find cleaning to be an exercise in mindfulness. Buddhist and Catholic monks and nuns garden, clean and cook to gain a clearer mind and a better spiritual perspective. Mindfulness is a beautiful practice and housework, if done mindfully, can be quite therapeutic.

Having dinner together as a family on a regular basis is becoming old-fashioned, it would seem. I can’t praise this practice enough. I look forward to dinner all afternoon. Our oldest tells Mom and Dad what happened at pre-school, Dad tells us about work, and the one year old squeals to drown us out. Food gets thrown all over the floor and the mood is generally festive. The happiness of the boys is measurable as they have the attention of both parents. It is a wonderful ritual, and in our society, it is glamorous due to rarity.

The icing on the cake is the support that I receive from my husband. He does not resent the fact that I stay home with the children. He never belittles me. I don’t see how he could have the time to be unfaithful, like the fictional fathers in “Mad Men.” He does exceptional professional work and is fully engaged with us at home. He respects my intelligence and my goals and we are full partners in all that we do. I feel more liberated now than I have ever felt as a woman.

What is it like to lack a respected career? Honestly, my opinion on this aspect of stay-at-home parenting continually evolves. I have forgotten how to use attorney timekeeping software and I couldn’t tell you about the latest and greatest regulations from the SEC. I don’t wear suits and heels and blow-dry my hair every day. No one calls me on my cell phone to yell at me at 9:00 p.m. when I am with my husband. Just this week, a doctor said to me, “It is a shame for you to waste your education. You must have worked your ass off in school.” Actually, I didn’t work my ass off. I love school. I could be an eternal student. Staying at home with my kids allows me to pursue a lot of interests that I never had time for previously. Do I care what others think about my life choices? I used to care. I used to care too much. Formerly, I lived my life in pursuit of approval. Now, I live my life in pursuit of survival, love, enjoyment and stability for my family. The best part is this: right now is perfectly acceptable, and anything can happen in the future. You might say I can’t put these years on my resume? I will always be so much more than a resume could ever represent. This is true of every stay-at-home parent and I believe that opinions are turning in our favor, irrespective of the importance we place on opinions!
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Jan 18

Parental Tips For Potty Training Your Toddler

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Believe it or not, potty training your child can be an educational, rewarding, and exciting experience for both you and your child! Learning about potty training your child will provide some great ideas and useful tips that every parent wants. Some of these tips were passed along to me from friends that have children, and many I have learned on my own. Either way, you’ll be thankful to have these ideas shared with you when your child arrives at the point when they are ready to learn how to potty train.

Rewarding your child with praise is the most important aspect of potty training a parent can utilize. If you don’t remember any other thing from this article, remember this tip. As with any other form of training, praising the good creates a memorable moment that the child will remember, and will thus strive to continue to do good. Therefore, focus on the times when the child uses the bathroom correctly, and reward them. Making a large deal out of the positive moments and neglecting the times when the child slips up and does not use the potty will remind the child to use the bathroom correctly in order to be rewarded, and ultimately have fewer and fewer mistakes.

To best potty train your child, there are a few rules you may want to consider following:

1.) Familiarize your child with the bathroom. This will allow the child to become comfortable in the bathroom environment and will be able to focus more on using the bathroom correctly and less on their surroundings.

2.) Utilize a Chart or Dry Erase Board to track your child’s progress. This is another type of ‘reward’ for the child, and something for them to look forward to and work towards.

3.) Focus on the times when the child uses the bathroom correctly and make a large production out of this activity. However, do not focus so much on the times when the child uses the bathroom incorrectly.

4.) With growing health concerns, be sure to teach your child to wash their hands every time they use the bathroom, whether correctly or incorrectly.

Children have a tendency at certain ages to mimic what they see their parents do. Therefore, it is practical to allow your children to come into the bathroom a few times and watch you use the bathroom, so they will have a better understanding that this is the correct way to use the bathroom, and that everyone does it. The child will also be prone to trying this activity on their own and each time they need to use the bathroom so they will be more of a ‘big kid’.

Making the child feeling comfortable in the bathroom can also be accomplished by allowing the child to decorate their potty training chair when it is initially purchased, and by incorporating a few of the child’s belongings in the bathroom. Creating a familiar environment will allow the child to focus more on the task at hand.

A child must be at a point in their development when they are able to learn to potty train. A certain level of prerequisite learning is necessary in order to be able to comprehend the idea of using the bathroom correctly. This is important to understand because if you attempt to potty train your child and the child does not seem to be able to grasp the idea of potty training, this is no time to be alarmed. The child may simply not yet be ready to potty train yet, and trying again in a few weeks will usually prove successful. So be patient with your child and don’t become overwhelmed or impatient if your child is not able to successfully potty train with your first attempt. Remember to stay positive and keep trying!
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Jan 4

Tips For Potty Training Boys

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When it is time to start potty training, it can be a nerve-racking and scary experience for both parent and child. One thing you should know is that potty-training boys is a whole lot different than potty training your daughter. The key to successful potty training for any child is trust and finding what works best for them. You can take advice and potty training tips from other mothers in your family or circle of friends, but remember what worked best for them, might not be ideal for you and your son.

Potty training boys is not an easy task, especially for the mother. The best way to start, especially if you are a single mother, is to start off by sitting down. You do not want to start potty training boys to stand up right away. This allows them to have better control and learn the basics to begin with. You need to start with teaching him how to control his urine stream. This means you will need to show him to gently push his penis down into the toilet or potty, in order to keep from making a mess.

If you have a potty chair, you should start with that. Most boys, at first, are scared of the potty. It is a new experience for them, the sounds, sights, and area could be very scary to any toddler. So get him comfortable with a potty chair first. Once he has mastered the potty chair and has become accustomed, he may be ready for the big toilet. Potty training boys is all about allowing him to pace himself. You may find that he becomes interested in the “big potty” because it just seems more exciting to him.

When he is ready switch him over to the big potty and still keep him sitting down. You might need to hold him up for a while, until he realizes he needs to hold himself up. You might even want to consider a potty chair that goes over the bigger toilets. After he has mastered the basics and control, you can then begin teaching him how to stand up to urinate.

The best thing to do for this part is to have the father or other male family member take him in the bathroom to show him. As men, they have a better understanding of what needs to be done. If you do not have a male family member around, you should take your son into the bathroom, and tell him you want him to learn how to use the potty like a big boy. Have him stand up, remove his pants and underpants, then face the toilet. You must tell him to hold onto his penis and control the flow of urine into the toilet.

Do not get discouraged if he does not hit the toilet in the first, second, or even fifth try, this is a learned process. Potty training boys can be difficult no matter who is doing the training.
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Nov 6

Secret Infertility Remedy Discovered Right Under Your Nose!

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Most women wanting to be a mom, wish for this above all else in the world. Infertility is a worry that concerns many, particularly those past their 30th birthday who may feel their body clock is ticking. Bringing a healthy child into the world without complications is an event that every woman who wants it should to be able to have.

Lisa Olson is a woman who was beset with infertility problems and Lisa has at long last figured out what causes a lot of women to fail to conceive, and has assembled her infertility remedies so that they can be available to all women.

There are now a good number of women who have successfully had healthy pregnancies and given birth thanks to these methods. There is a lot of common sense behind this, and that is because largely women do not genuinely understand how their own bodies function. These simple methods can save you a big ration of heartache as they can allow you to become pregnant as nature intended, and soon, within months and not years.

You will learn that your diet is vitally important in allowing you to conceive. What you eat, how much you eat and when you eat it is a major factor in conception and giving birth to a healthy baby. Of course, there may be underlying physical conditions which are hindering your ability to get pregnant, but it may be something as simple as your levels of health and fitness and your diet plays a major part in this.

Lisa’s secret infertility remedy includes some of the most important food related ways to increase your fertility and your chances of getting pregnant.
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Oct 31

Different Styles Of Breastfeeding Clothing

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Breastfeeding in public can initially be a bit of an issue for new mothers or for people who have never done it before. That is why there are many different styles of clothing to help make it more easy to do in public with out having to bare all.

Nursing tank tops are gaining a lot of popularity as the number one way to breastfeed in public and still be considered to have a sense of fashion. These tops have a strap on one side that will disconnect to expose the nipple through a nursing bra which makes it easy and give minimum exposure to all nursing mothers.

There are many other fashions that can be used while using one of these products. What is popular is to use a shaw to wrap around your shoulders and drape down your arms that way you can even get a lit more coverage when you need it.

Nursing dresses were initially thought to be the next big thing in nursing clothing – but most women have found it not as easy as using just a plain nursing top with a built in bra. The nursing dresses are one piece and usually can be a pain to get in and out of – also not all of the material that these are made with will keep a person cool in the warm weather of the summer.

Nursing shirts also have become popular – they will usually have a design that makes an X across the chest area so that they can be pulled down on one side and expose the breast for easy nursing. Using a top like this could work out great as long as you are willing to also buy a nursing bra to go with it. It is rare that a nursing shirt will come with a nursing bra already inside.
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Sep 24

Potty Training Toddlers – When Are They Ready?

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You are excited about getting rid of the diapers, but are you ready for the challenge that comes along with potty training toddlers?Training your child can be fairly easy as long as he or she is ready. Toddlers have to be physically able, show bladder control,have the understanding, and be willing to try before they can be trained. This article is going to teach you things to look for to know your toddler is ready. These signs will help when potty training toddlers.

Many people start potty training toddlers between the ages of 18 months and 36 months, but chronological age does not determine when a child is ready. A toddler has to have some sort of bladder control before they can start being trained. They should be able to remain dry for two or more hours at a time. You might also notice that they can remain dry during their nap or through the night. This shows that their body is physiologically ready.

A child has to be physically able to go to the bathroom. They have to be able to walk to the bathroom and be able to pull their pants up and down so they can go. In the past some parents have claimed that their 12 month old is potty trained, when that child can barely walk. Is their baby really potty trained, or is the parent trained. For that reason, I believe there are physical requirements for potty training toddlers.

Another thing to look for when potty training toddlers is their understanding of the process. Watch for signs that show your child understands what they are doing. They may tell you when they are wet or poopy, and maybe even insist on being changed right away. That is a sure sign that they are ready. Some toddlers may ask to go potty after seeing someone else do it, or show interest in getting rid of the diaper. Showing interest is something to look for when potty training toddlers.

This brings me to the being willing aspect. Your toddler has to want to use the potty. Forcing them on the toilet with out their consent can make the process take much longer. When they show signs they are ready you should encourage them to try to use the potty, but never make them do something they are not physiologically ready to do. It can make for a traumatic experience which will discourage later tries. When potty training toddlers, you have to wait until they show you they are ready.

To sum it up, potty training toddlers does not have to be a challenge. Making sure that your toddler is really ready before starting can save a lot of time and frustration for everyone. Look for signs of bladder control, physical capabilities, understanding, and willingness before you start potty training toddlers.
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Sep 23

Ideas For a Family Halloween Pumpkin Patch Party

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Take Halloween one step beyond trick or treating and the pre-school parade by planning a family Halloween party. There are tons of Halloween adventures like Haunted Houses for the kids when they get a bit older, so why not start your own adventure for your little ones. Plan a Pumpkin Patch Carnival for them as well as their parents, your friends and family. It could be almost a mini-Oktoberfest for the adults with fun and games for the kids. This is not an expensive proposition…plan to have it at home

Turn your backyard into a “Halloween Midway of Fun” with lots of games, activities and prizes for the kids and great camaraderie for the adults. Plan a series of game stations around your yard, just like a carnival. Organize with it with your friends. Maybe you have some that will be game to wear costumes and serve as the “carnival barkers”. You can decide if you want them to wear their costumes, depending on the games you plan.

Have a “Halloween Hut” set up for all the food. Surely a couple of your guests will volunteer to grill burgers and dogs. Have them served up with bags of chips or crackers, a box of juice or bottle of water served up in a plastic pumpkin. You can find them at the dollar store without breaking the bank. You can set up little picnic tables or simply set out some blankets on the yard. You may want to have soda and beer for the adults. A big veggie platter would also be great for both the kids and adults! If you want to spend some money, you could rent a popcorn machine or a cotton candy maker too.

Go to the local market and buy enough small pumpkins for all the kids, plus a couple of extras. Next hide them all over the yard before everyone arrives. Depending on the age group, they can hunt on their own or go along with Mom or Dad. What is the reason for the extras? You want to make sure everyone finds one. The last thing you need is one sad tot who can’t find a pumpkin and you can’t remember where in the yard you hid them all!

A pumpkin decorating station is another possibility. You could use paint, but realize you risk certain disaster for one of them if they are in costume. Paint markers would be safer alternatives. I have even seen some pumpkin decorating kits with stickers at the craft stores. Another alternatives would be letting a couple of crafty friends carve them into Jack O Lanterns!

There are great Halloween music CD’s that you could play for some background ambiance, but I think with all the laughter and excitement the music may be drowned out. The easy part about this party is that your house and /or yard will already be decorated for the season! Halloween party invitations are abundant, so find ones you like or even make your own on the computer. There are lots of sites with free pintables. The game stations can be Halloween versions of what you would find at carnival. When they are ready to start playing the games, they will have their “pumpkin bucket” from lunch and can begin visiting the game stations to win tickets or candy!

So start now and plan your own Halloween celebration for the little ones as well as a fun autumn afternoon for the adults! Let them expand their Halloween fun beyond trick or treating. If you need further ideas for the games and prizes, check out the Carnival party ideas at Celebration Ideas Online.
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Aug 20

Etiquette Tips for Kids

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Etiquette in communication is not just reserved for adults or business people. Kids are being seen and heard in the public eye and need to learn and develop proper skills at an early age. There are several ways that kids can be respectful, courteous and professional when interacting with their peers as well as adults in school and community functions. We encourage all kids and students to step up to the plate and use etiquette to build the professional persona as well as make a great first impression.

No Gum Chewing Allowed

Whether it is a school play, PTA meeting or community fundraiser, we recommend that kids do not chew any gum or candy. Children are not as reserved when chewing gum as adults are. They tend to chew louder, blow bubbles and open their mouths wider. It can be an extremely unpleasant distraction to others. If that child is trying to sell something for a fundraiser or present a speech or presentation, it is considered very unprofessional. Also, when kids eat candy or chew gum, they do not always dispose of trash or candy wrapper in the appropriate waste areas, leaving an unwanted mess.

Cell Phone Etiquette

It is very common to see kids with cell phones but they must learn how to properly use cell phones and electronic devices. Kids should keep their phones on a low-tone volume, silence or vibrate when they are in public. Loud ringing cell phones can cause a commotion in any environment. Also, kids should be selective on how and where they answer their phones. If they are in a crowded venue, kids should excuse themselves to answer an important/relevant call. Or they can choose to call the other person back at a more convenient time. While talking on the phone, kids should never be loud or discuss personal business/matters in public.

Being Cordial

While in the public eye, kids should refrain from being loud and disruptive. They should also use manners and distinction when talking or interacting with adults. Kids should refer to adults by their last name or proper titles. They should also use kind words such as, “please, Madam/Sir, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, no thank you etc.” . Showing manners and being respectful is not just important for the kid but it is a reflection of their parents and upbringing. Behaving properly and graceful in the public eye is always a plus.
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Aug 4

Potty Training And Resistance – How To Deal With It

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Potty training is one of the most dreaded but important challenge that a child has to face in his or her young life. It comes at a time when the child is learning to be more independent. The child may resist potty training altogether, and eventually the potty training process becomes a big hassle for the parents. In this article, I would like to share with you some insight on potty training and resistance that may come with it so that you and your toddler will have a more pleasant experience.

Always be sure that your child is ready for potty training. Never try to force the issue if your child is not ready physically and emotionally. Refusing to potty train can be simply frustrating.

You can start the training process simply by getting your child familiar with going to the potty. Having your child sit on the potty even though there is no bowel movement or urination helps greatly to ease the child into it. Interactive potty training books and videos are also great ways of introducing toilet training to your child. Make sure the conversation is at his or her level and answer your child’s questions if there are any.

Another way to deal with the issue on potty training and resistance is to take your child for shopping. Rewarding your child is possibly one of the most effective ways in making your child less resistant. Motivation is the key to successful potty training. Have him or her pick out something special to them. Purchase this item with your child and remind your child that he or she will only get it if goals are met such as, for staying clean for a whole day and for successfully using the potty.

If your child is hesitant about even sitting on the potty, do not push him or her. You may consider using a potty training chart. Training charts and stickers are great motivational tools that keep your toddler interested. Start by putting stickers on the chart for sitting on the potty. After a while, only give stickers when your child uses the potty when necessary. Finally, offer a small toy as a reward for 3 accident free days or when they complete the chart. Do not punish your child for accidents.

Always keep in mind that each time your child wet his or her pants, your child is doing his or her best to get the hang of toilet training. Be patient and try to understand your child so that he or she does not continue to feel resistance towards potty training which can eventually lead to regression. You would not want the whole potty training experience to turn into a nightmare.

There are many ways and tools available to make the experience fun and interesting. Find out which system work best for you and your toddler so that you can easily overcome potty training and resistance. Remember to reward and encourage your child so that he or she will become less resistant. Stay cool and positive, and have fun with your child during this trying process.
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Aug 4

7 Reasons to Join Your Child’s School Parent Teacher Group (PTO Or PTA)

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The Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) and Parent Teacher Association (PTA) are formal groups of parents and teachers that volunteer for the benefit of an elementary school. Being active in your child’s school is critical to their success. Joining the group is a great way to stay involved with the school during the year.

Here are 7 Reasons to Join Your Child’s School Parent Teacher Group (PTO or PTA):

1. Support the Educational Programs – Parent volunteers often help out in classrooms by assisting teachers, bringing supplies or serving as cafeteria monitor. Parents could create a book drive or assist their child’s school in other ways that are important.

2. Fund drives – PTO’s often raise funds to benefit the school’s education or service programs. A PTO could hold a fundraiser to improve the school’s playground, library or computer lab. Fundraisers have always been important for improving the quality of a school and groups are becoming more savvy than ever about raising funds.

3. Promote Health – One important issue facing many PTO’s today is the health and wellness of school children. The Child Nutrition Act law was reauthorized in 2004 and schools have been required to have a wellness policy in place as of the Fall of 2006. Now every school needs a wellness committee or some type of policy for wellness.

4. Voice Your Opinions – Joining the PTO is an excellent way to assist your child’s school and to have an active voice in their education process. PTO groups report directly to the principal to bring important information to their attention.

5. Stay Informed – The parent group is often very involved at making sure that all parents stay informed on issues that are important to them. Some PTO or PTA groups publish a newsletter than is sent home with children or mailed. Some groups have their own websites and email newsletters.

6. Flexibility – Parent teacher groups have evolved to the changing needs of parents. Now most PTO or PTA groups offer a variety of easy ways that you can participate. Most parents are also juggling jobs and several children, so they often feel time-crunched. Most PTOs have responded to this, and you will find responsibilities for projects can often be flexible and will work with your current schedule.

7. Get to Know the Teachers – Joining the parent teacher group is another way to get to know your child’s teacher better. Attending meetings and volunteering at the school gives you time to interact with teachers. Plus you may also get to know the school counselors and principal as well.

Most importantly, the parent teacher group at your school is for every parent. Your voice matters and it is important that you speak up and make a difference for your children and the other children in your child’s school. To become a member of the PTO, you need to have a child currently in school. Membership is accessible to everyone and is quite inexpensive. Join your school’s parent teacher group today!
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