Comments on: Should I Confront Her?

By: Classy chick

Classy chick — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 21:52:53 +0000

You need to say to her next time you see her. “hey, I was wondering, why do you think I use drugs?” Perhaps she is confusing you with someone else. This is a communication issue and one that needs to be resolved ASAP. This girl is spreading some bad rumors that could ruin your rep.

By: Barbara B

Barbara B — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 00:07:50 +0000

Wow. I am so sorry this person made such trouble for you.

I would invite both your friend and her stepsister out for coffee (your treat) because there are some things that you want to make clear to both of them – simultaneously – so there will be no further confusion. You’re not angry by any means – but you are terribly sad that someone has seen fit to poison two such nice folks with lies.

Then, with proof in hand, explain to these people that you have heard some vicious and untrue things about you. You don’t know who started such rumors or why they would try to run someone’s good name into the ground.

Show them your certificates of honor from the groups and charities you work with and explain that a person like this – would not be into drugs or “trouble.”

DO NOT ALLOW EITHER PERSON TO RESPOND. YOU ARE NOT DEBATING AN ISSUE – YOU ARE INFORMING THESE PEOPLE. Before either can say anything at all; get up, collect your things, pay the tab and say goodbye.

Again, do not allow either person to respond. Let them sit and stew in their own juices.

Whether they want to remain friends with you is up to them.

I would question whether I would want to remain friends with either of them.

As for shopping at the store – continue to shop at the store. Go through Stepsister’s checkout lane and act as if nothing has happened. Be pleasant. Be sweet. Be genuine.

But be just a wee bit cautious.

By: fiona8757

fiona8757 — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:39:49 +0000

First, it may be a genuine case of mistaken identity, she may think you are someone else entirely. Or, she may have been told these lies about you by someone else and SHE believes that they are true and was simply trying to protect her step sister from someone she thinks (incorrectly) is a bad person.

You could ask your new friend to get all three of you together to clear the air; you could ask for a private meeting and inform her she is mistaken and to please quit repeating these untruths, and if it continues you can sue her for slander.

By: spadezgurl22

spadezgurl22 — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:23:05 +0000

i would let her know its slanderous to defame your character and to say false things about you. especially that you are a drug addict bc u are not a druggie nor associate yourself with any. to spread those lies and rumors hurts your reputation in a community that you so affluently support and represent.

By: next?

next? — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:54:24 +0000

The problem with third hand gossip is, there is so much room for error. If you ever confront anyone about third hand gossip make sure you have the person who told you the gossip in the first place and the person who allegedly said the stuff and then talk it out.

By: MicahArt

MicahArt — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 15:50:49 +0000

I would confront Her (in a non-threatening way) and calmly say “I heard that you made some untrue comments about me. I can’t imagine what prompted you to do this, but I suggest that if you have anything to say about me in the future, that you say it to my face. Otherwise I will bring you up on slander charges”.

By: Gayle B

Gayle B — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 22:58:09 +0000

some people have to make things up to make themselves feel better sad i know but its true to me i would just let it go as confrontation will get you nowhere she will just say she never said it

By: Nas N

Nas N — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:19:34 +0000

No you should not comfort her. You should confront her in a gentle but firm way and ask her about what you heard.

Who knows maybe it is not true what your friend reported!

By: Cathys29

Cathys29 — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:31:54 +0000

The only thing you can do is ask her politely if and why she said these things about you and let her know that no mattter where she heard it from that it is not true and you would appreciate it if she would refrain from spreading rumors about you. Other than that, just stay away from her (because she obviously likes the drama) and let your reputation speak for itself…your real friends either know it’s not true or have enough character and common sense to ask you about something before they go spreading it around. Good Luck!

By: bookworm

bookworm — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:12:37 +0000

first of all maybe she didnt really say them…the grocery store is a HUGE place for gossip…….believe me…its amazing what can be said…so justthink about that,,,