Massage can be a great tool to help a mother stay comfortable during childbirth. It can also be the tool partners feel the least qualified to use. Here are some tips to help your labor partner be successful at massaging you during labor.

Pay Attention

Massage is a great tool to help mom relax and to minimize pain in her back and hips during labor, but that does not mean you start it with the first contraction. The general rule with labor is to ignore it until it demands your attention. Pay attention to mom and how she is handling labor. When she needs help, then consider massage. Depending on how mom is feeling you may want to try other comfort measures like walking or dancing first.

Also, don’t get stuck feeling that once you start massage you have to continue it until the baby is born. Stick with your massage for fifteen minutes to half an hour and then reevaluate. She may be ready to try something else or to change where or how the massage is done.

Position

Mothers in labor will not sit nicely for a backrub like they do in childbirth class. Instead, their position is determined by what is comfortable at the moment, and that may change as fast as every half hour. To give a good massage you need to be willing to work around the position the mother has chosen. If this means you only have access to her legs, then give her legs the best massage you can.

To prevent yourself from getting exhausted or suffering from sore muscles after the baby is born, be sure to position yourself so your weight is on your legs, not your back. This generally means you will need to stand with you legs a little wider than hip width apart and with one slightly in front of the other. This allows you to lower your arms by slightly bending your knees instead of your back. If necessary, get a stool to sit on or just kneel on the floor. Garden kneeling pads work great for preventing sore knees.

Pressure

Some mothers in labor really like a soft touch. Others really like a firm strong pressure. Some like both, but on different parts of the body. A good massage responds to the mother, giving her more pressure when she needs it and less when she does not. If she pulls away or says it hurts, you are probably touching her too hard. If she says you are tickling her, you may need to add more pressure.

Using your arms to increase pressure will only give you sore arms. Instead, lean slightly forward at the hips using your bodyweight to give more pressure. It will feel better to the mother and protect your body so you can massage her longer.

Pattern

There are many patterns you could use when you massage. Some mothers want no movement, just steady pressure on the lower back. Other times it feels good to have circular movements on the back. Arms and legs tend to feel best when rubbed in one direction, picking up the hand to move it to the starting point. You will need to vary your pattern at different points in labor and with different parts of the body.

Continue your massage pattern over several contractions. Starting to massage after you realize a contraction has started is distracting to the mother. Depending on where you are massaging, she may need you to build a pattern that uses one pressure during a contraction, and then lightens and increases the movement when the contraction has passed. For example, during a contraction she may want those small circles with lots of pressure on her lower back, but when the contraction ends keep the massage going by lessening the pressure and making the circle bigger so you can release tension in her hips as well.
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